So this week I’ve been thinking a lot about comparison.
I don’t think I’d be alone in saying that I compare myself or my situation to someone else at least daily (and mostly negatively). As many have put forth before me, in a world such as this, where there exist a ridiculous amount of media platforms for us to share on, comparison is all too easy, and misinformation is actually pretty rife. So someone has ‘the perfect life’ on Instagram? They’re probably struggling with 50 other things that they don’t choose to share. And choosing not to share those isn’t a bad thing. It’s just sometimes how it is.
The problems begin when we start to take social media too seriously. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest – they’re all great for their own purposes. When we start reading them as the only things which represent a person’s thoughts, feelings, experiences and even selves, that is when insecurities and comparisons begin to occur.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. That’s what Theodore Roosevelt said. Because comparison doesn’t just exist on its own. At least that’s what I think. I believe the more we compare, the more we can start to resent. Why don’t I have that? Why does she get what she wants? God, I hate her. Have we all been there, or is it just me? I’ve read posts about it before, so I know I can’t be alone!
When did we all become so cynical? When did we start believing that just because someone posts a few lovely pictures of themselves enjoying themselves, doing whatever and with whoever, that maybe they aren’t suffering with a myriad of other things. Because someone has posted pictures of new outfit after new outfit, and holiday after holiday, does that really mean that that person is only their pictures?
I can’t stand it.
I made a point in my Wishlist for 2015 that I wanted to avoid negative people. I know that sounds stupid – we don’t often try to engage with the negative folk around us. Because the negativity don’t stop on the internet! But sometimes we can’t help that they exist in our lives and we have to try to tolerate them. Along with this, I’ve tried to stop dillydallying on social media, being jealous and envious of things I haven’t got, or things I haven’t done. I have a bloody lovely life, I also have a lot of problems in my life. I want to, and I make a point of celebrating those good things and good people I have in my life with other people who want to celebrate them too, those who wish me happiness. There are some people in my life who don’t want to celebrate my accomplishments, they think my accomplishments are a threat to them, or they are quite frankly unhappy that I am happy. I mean, what’s that about? I definitely don’t ever want to be that.
So really, I’m talking about two things. The people who we compare ourselves to, and those who are actively unhappy for us.
I’ve stopped letting the second lot of people be a factor in my actions and my feelings. Almost stopped. They have no place there, and I’m happier for it. But hell, it’s not easy. Sometimes, a good block or mute on social media is the way to have a good break from negativity. As for the first lot of people, I still compare myself. I still compare myself to one of my best friends who has bought her own house with her boyfriend. I still compare myself to my other best friend who is an actual doctor. An ACTUAL doctor. She’s so smart. They have worked so frickin’ hard to be where they are and I couldn’t be happier for them.
I want to start celebrating other people more, instead of de-celebrating myself. I’m sticking with de-celebrating as a word.
Other, nicer things that have happened this week;
We went to the 1914 Exhibition at York Castle Museum.
I didn’t want to upload too many pictures as it might spoil it should you ever go and see it yourself – but it is a wonderful exhibition. If you live in York and have a residents card, you get free entry!
I made some decoupage for my Mam and my lovely friend Minal. I am toying with making these and selling them. What do you reckon?
I bought some new skincare items! My hormonal breakouts got the better of me and I splurged on some nice skincare, taking advantage of Boots’ 3 for 2 offer at the moment.
We went to Minal’s birthday shindig in Leeds. We ate Sukothai and it was lovely. Happy birthday, my lovely girl. P.S. She has commissioned 2 other pieces of decoupage from me 😉
I posed like a fool for some pictures of my lovely skirt. Yup.
And I also took a picture of my dress for Minal’s birthday in the posh Sukothai bathroom. Sorry for the unforgivable quality.
So this post has been a bit longer than intended, but I had a lot to think about and do this week and also it’s 2 days later than planned.
What do we think about comparing ourselves? Is it getting worse, or is it just perception? Let me know what you think below!