What I’ve Learned About Long Distance Relationships
So, the gorgeous Rhiân has asked me to guest post here on her blog while’she’s off gallivanting (and as I sit here on an overcast, typically British day, let me tell you I’m ALL the jealous).
Allow me to introduce myself.; I’m Joanna and I blog over at Teacups & Trainers. I’m a big fan of tea. And running. And goats. But mainly goats. I also start a lot of sentences with ‘so…’
So, when Rhian asked me to write a guest I was all like ‘Yeah, I’m all over that!’. Then I was like ‘Sheeiiiit what can I write about that will do her blog justice?’. So I thought I would write about what I know best; and what I know best and what my life is all-consumed by right now is long distance relationships. Specifically mine.
Now, I’ve been in a long distance relationship for all of about 3 months and when I say long distance I mean 200 miles (Me Midlands, him SW England). I know there are couples who battle far greater distances and for years at a time, and to you I take my hat off a hundred times over. But this is what I’ve learned on my journey so far.
1. It sucks. There’s no getting away from the fact that it is completely and utterly shit. When I knew that I was embarking on a long-distance relationship, my head filled with romantic notions of two tortured souls wistfully longing for each other, and romantic reunions at train stations. The truth is, it;’s mainly torturous. And train stations aren’t very romantic. I reckon airports would be better actually. Like off of Love Actually.
2. Romantic love-letter writing has happened. Which is pretty neat. And they have become my most treasured possessions. After y’know, my child.
3. It’s expensive. I don’t drive, which has increased the expense factor and lined the train company’s pockets somewhat, but that aside, petrol costs have massively increased (obvs) and who knew stamps were so expensive?!
4. Plus, I think you can fall into the trap of feeling that you have to do super exciting stuff every time you do see each other. Whilst it’s great to want to make the most of your time together and means you don’t take those precious days for granted, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you have to spend big money to make it special. After being apart, just being in the same room is special enough.
5. It makes you have the big conversations way earlier than usual. For two reasons, I think. First, because you both have to be committed to it to make it work. And you probs won’t know that for certain unless you talk about it. Although we both knew early on that we were right for each other, I think the situation forced us to voice it earlier than we normally would. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Also, for me certainly, I couldn’t have embarked on a long-distance thing if I knew it was going to last indefinitely/forever. I had to be clear that there would come a time, in the not-too-distant future that we would be living closer together. Thus comes the potentially horrid conversation about which one of you is going to uproot their lives to move closer – when all you should really be thinking about at that stage is whether or not it’s too early to let him see you without makeup on. (I thought it was – he thought not. He didn’t run away in horror, so all good).
6. It makes you want to kiss the person who invented Skype. SERIOUS relationship saver. Do not underestimate the difference it makes to see their face. And other body parts you might be missing. Soz, but he’s got AMAZE thighs.
7. It doesn’t necessarily provoke trust issues. I reckon that if there are going to be trust issues in a relationship, they will be there regardless of whether you see each other once a day or once a month.
8. It means you don’t question the other person’s commitment to you. If somebody is going to drive for 3.5 hours across the country after a long day at work, just to drive back again the next day, you know they want to be with you. And properly be with you. It’s a hella lot of effort for a shag.
9. The we’re-finally-reunited-I’ve-missed-you-so-much hug can’t be beaten. You’ll live for that moment.